If just reading the words ‘group project’ makes your stomach sink, you’re not alone. For many autistic and ADHD students, group work isn’t just frustrating—it’s overwhelming, exhausting, and, at times, downright confusing. It’s not because you’re bad at teamwork. It’s because traditional group dynamics come with unspoken social rules, chaotic communication, and role expectations that don’t always make sense.
The good news? Once you understand the hidden reasons why group work feels so difficult, you can start using strategies that play to your strengths, rather than forcing yourself into a system that wasn’t designed with you in mind.
Let’s break it down.
Why Group Work Feels So Hard
Group projects aren’t just about completing a task—they’re a social performance. There are unspoken roles, power dynamics, and shifting expectations that make it difficult to navigate, especially if you process information differently. Here’s why group work can feel so challenging:
1. Unclear Expectations & Hidden Social Rules
Group work often comes with implied expectations rather than clear instructions. People assume you’ll ‘just know’ how to contribute, how often to check in, or when to speak up. But if no one explicitly outlines these rules, how are you supposed to know?
Ask for clarity from the start. Try saying, “What’s the best way for us to organise tasks?” or “How do we want to communicate—group chat, email, or shared docs?” The sooner expectations are clear, the easier it is to participate without second-guessing yourself.
2. The ‘Talkers’ vs. The ‘Doers’ Problem
In every group, there are the people who take over (the Talkers) and the people who get stuck doing all the actual work (the Doers). Neurodivergent students often end up in the ‘Doer’ category because taking control of conversations and delegating tasks isn’t always natural.
Set boundaries early. If you notice you’re doing all the work, address it with something like, “Let’s make sure everyone has a clear role so we’re not doubling up or leaving things unfinished.” Use a shared checklist so responsibilities are visible to everyone.
3. Sensory Overload & Verbal Processing Demands
If you’re autistic, group discussions can be draining—especially if there’s overlapping conversation, background noise, or unclear turn-taking. If you’re ADHD, processing and remembering details in fast-paced conversations can be a struggle, making it hard to keep up.
If possible, request written instructions or meeting summaries.
Suggest using shared documents so information isn’t lost in verbal discussions.
If meetings are chaotic, try saying, “Can we go one at a time? I want to make sure I follow everything.”
4. The Struggle to Self-Advocate
It’s frustrating to have great ideas but struggle to get a word in—or to need accommodations but feel awkward asking for them. The pressure to ‘go with the flow’ often leads to masking, which is exhausting.
If speaking up in the moment is difficult, try communicating in writing. Drop a message in the group chat, contribute your ideas in a shared document, or send a quick email if you need adjustments.
5. The Executive Dysfunction Trap
When deadlines are far away, it’s easy to assume there’s plenty of time—until suddenly, panic sets in. ADHD students often struggle with task initiation, while autistic students may find switching between multiple roles overwhelming.
Break big tasks into small ones. Instead of “work on the project,” try “research three sources” or “write the first paragraph.”
Use external reminders (calendars, timers, notifications) to keep track of deadlines.
Ask for structured check-ins to keep things moving (e.g., “Let’s touch base every three days to make sure we’re on track.”)
How to Survive & Even Thrive in Group Work
Okay, so group work is tough. But with the right approach, you can take control of the process in a way that works for you. Here’s how:
1. Choose (or Suggest) a Role That Fits Your Strengths
Instead of waiting to be assigned a task that doesn’t suit you, proactively suggest a role that aligns with your skills.
Good roles for autistic students: Researcher, editor, data analyst, visual organiser (creating slides, charts, or graphics).
Good roles for ADHD students: Brainstormer, creative designer, presenter, project motivator (keeping the energy up).
Try This: “I’m really good at structuring research—would it make sense for me to gather sources while someone else organises the slides?”
2. Set Up a Clear Communication System
To avoid last-minute chaos, make sure everyone agrees on how and when to communicate.
Suggest using a shared Google Doc or Trello board to track tasks.
Set up a group chat for quick updates (but mute notifications when needed).
Clarify response times (e.g., “Let’s check in every other day so no one gets stuck waiting.”)
3. Manage Meetings & Discussions More Comfortably
If live meetings drain you, try reducing the pressure with these strategies:
Ask for an agenda in advance so you can prepare.
If you struggle with verbal processing, say, “Can we summarise key points in writing after our meeting?”
If taking notes helps, ask if you can record or transcribe meetings.
4. Handle Conflict Without Meltdowns or Shutdowns
Group tension happens—but handling it doesn’t have to be stressful.
If someone isn’t pulling their weight, avoid blaming and say: “I noticed we’re behind on [task]. How can we adjust things so it gets done?”
If you feel overlooked, write down your thoughts and share them via message instead of confronting in real-time.
Group Work on Your Terms
Group projects can be a nightmare, but they don’t have to be. The key is understanding the unspoken rules and flipping the process in your favour. By choosing roles that align with your strengths, advocating for clear communication, and managing expectations from the start, you can make teamwork less stressful and (dare I say) even a little bit easier.
You don’t have to ‘just deal with it’—you can shape the way you work within a group. And the more you do, the easier it gets.
What’s the hardest part of group work for you? Let’s talk about it in the comments!
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